My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
