Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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