Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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