we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Randomize
