Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
the condom got lost in my hair
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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