There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
