i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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