I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
