i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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