I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
You're like the curious george of whores
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
