it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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