so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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