I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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