no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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