I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
