Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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