hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize