i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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