hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Randomize
