Someone shit on the floor
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
