im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
