ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
