Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize
