Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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