he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
A+ Viking dick
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
