Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Randomize
