i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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