...so i touched it.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
