It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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