I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
