Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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