Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
