people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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