So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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