I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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