we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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