So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
