Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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