so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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