In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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