it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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