I swear she didn't look like that last week.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
