OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
