Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
