what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
