My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
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