Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
