Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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