why didn't you poke me back
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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