Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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