my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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