my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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