I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
