I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Do vagina's smell?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
