i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
he fucked my hip out of place.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
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