I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
