My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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