I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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