Midget sex pt 2 tonight
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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