Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Randomize
