Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Randomize
