The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
we're making bets on your personal life
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize