i just had sex bonerless
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
We're not piercing ourselves today.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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