i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
