I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
pop tarts are not kleenex
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Can I color on your dick again?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Randomize
