So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
