I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
