I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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